Music: R.E.M. Kurt Cobain Tribute

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R.E.M. lead singer Michael Stipe’s tribute to friend Kurt Cobain in 1994 gem “Let Me In” from the Monster album remains one of my personal favorites. 

Truly great music comes in all art forms. No matter the category or style, it can blow your mind. Lately, I’ve been listening to classical in the car. Sometimes, it just helps soothe me when I’m overthinking. I just had a nice get together with one of my closest personal friends who is home for Christmas and then back on a flight Monday to California.

For some reason, these hangouts in South River, New Jersey get my juices flowing. I can’t explain why. As I drove what was probably the easiest and most peaceful 20-minute ride minus traffic, I opted for classical over classic rock. Q 104.3 was playing all the hits of the bands that are going into the Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame. I was bored. So, I decided for classical instead.

It was that kind of mood. I just wanted peace and quiet. Classical gives you that. Normally, I would never listen to it. I’d jam out to something hard that I identify with. But I guess I was a bit anxious to see my friend along with our core who go back two decades. That was Friday. Today’s different.

As we celebrate the first night of Chanukah and enjoy Christmas Day with the Knicks and Celtics at noon before another anxiety driven visit to Mom for more birthday and holiday fun, I was listening to Q 104.3 most of the first part of the day. I put in a few hours at work early and then was tired. Maybe the combination of seeing my buddies last night caught up to me. I am in the process of getting a new car. And that can weigh on you. We should’ve just closed on the silver Honda Accord I wanted. I regret it. But things have a way of working out.

Anyway, they played a lot of good music. Of course, you had your combination of Christmas hits from U2, Springsteen, Bryan Adams along with classic throwbacks like Bob Dylan’s “Like A Rolling Stone” and Joan Jett’s “Bad Reputation.” Christmas songs rock. The one performed by many of music’s biggest stars in 1985 for Band Aid’s memorable “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” remains my favorite due to its significant meaning.

Feed the world. Let them know it’s Christmas time!

That is truly what the Christmas spirit is all about. Sticking with that theme, I randomly decided to go to Barnes & Noble and see what they had. So, after careful thought and consideration, I wound up getting my father a cool 1967 magazine on the great music scene with personal fave Jimi Hendrix on the cover. I knew he’d love it. I then stumbled upon a Rolling Stone commemorative issue on Guns N’ Roses. As I glanced through a couple of parts, I knew it would make the perfect gift for my brother. You better believe I’ll also read it. 😉

It’s already 12:27 in the morning here on an overcast mid-40’s night in Staten Island, New York. There will not be a white Christmas in New York City. Instead, the temps will be mild. These days, you never know what you’ll get. Sometimes, it can be bitter cold as it was all of last week. Now, we just had some rain. Gone are the days where you could wake up to snow on a Christmas in the city that never sleeps. It’s not as common.

So, why tell all this before I get to the topic of my post? Because it’s the holiday season for believing and dreaming. It’s where and hopes and dreams float through the sky and leave you feeling high. Anything’s possible. That is my vision for this time and what follows in 2017.

I was on You Tube because where else would I be. I watched M83’s fancy “Midnight City” because I really dig it. It’s such a different and unique sound. Plus the video’s interesting. I then took a listen to another one of their songs which I came away impressed with.

Then I punched in R.E.M. and Kurt Cobain because “Let Me In” from the memorable 1994 Monster album remains a personal favorite. I always loved that song. Back then, I was a wide eyed student at Fairleigh Dickinson in the beautiful surroundings of the Madison, New Jersey campus in Morristown. A 17-year old freshman who even took a crack at being a radio deejay from 8-10 for a night. That was my paradise. My chance to experience college radio. Cue up music and read PSA’s.

I was big into Hendrix, The Beatles and most of the new stuff. You had your Red Hot Chili Peppers, Green Day, Nirvana, Weezer, Smashing Pumpkins and R.E.M. I also loved rap but there wasn’t as much of a selection. Of course, I preferred Dr. Dre’s The Chronic with Snoop Dogg and Tupac even though most of his great stuff came afterwards.

It is interesting to note that R.E.M. had recorded most of the Monster album live and without much trouble. But they added the special tribute to Cobain, who committed suicide. Interestingly, frontman Michael Stipe had spoken with Kurt about Nirvana’s next album and they were supposed to team up for a trial run of the album.

“Let Me In” is one of those songs that takes you into a different dimension beyond comprehension. The song is played in a high emotional pitch and tempo. It just feels different and more important. The way Stipe sings it is powerful. You can tell this was personal for him. He noted that it was supposed to be him on the phone with Cobain trying to help him. What if he had saved him? We’ll never know.

Kurt’s legend grows along with the infamous 27 Club which features Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Brian Jones, who all passed between 1969-71. Amy Winehouse also passed at 27 in 2011. She actually was afraid she would die at that age. The list is long and also includes 2Pac contributor Stretch and rising actor Anton Yelchin. Someone I remember most for his performance in Alpha Dog. Most of the list is made up of musicians. It’s bizarre.

Getting back to the song, it’s not the longest but doesn’t have to be. If you listen to it, you get the message right away. It’s high energy and an emotional tribute to Kurt Cobain. I have enough Nirvana stuff including their famed Unplugged in cassette. I also have a cassette of the Weezer debut blue album. I lost The Chronic twice. It’s amazing some of the stuff I had. Some of it disappeared. Now, cassettes are extinct. It’s either CD or i-tunes.

Here is the memorable “Let Me In” with a nice video tribute to Cobain:

The back drop is pretty cool. It’s almost like he’s singing through emotional tears instead of rain drops. The blue color and the random images of Kurt are perfect.

Whatever holiday you celebrate, Happy Chanukah and Merry Christmas!

Cool Video: The Cars “You Are The Girl”

How many people have heard of The Cars? If you haven’t, you’re missing out. Quite honestly, their unique style and sound was unlike anything I ever heard before growing up.

I look at what Ric Ocasek, the gone too soon but never forgotten Benjamin Orr, Elliot Easton, David Robinson and Greg Hawkes accomplished and think it’s some of the best music of the late 70’s and 80’s ever produced. What I really love about them is their music was different than anyone else. It had a poppy combination of new wave and rock intertwined. They also had both Ocasek and Orr splitting time as lead singers. What other group would do that?

The thing that sticks out for me is when Ocasek decided to let Orr sing their most popular hit, “Drive,” it showed just how smart and uncanny he was. He knew he wasn’t always the best to be the lead vocalist. I guess it depended on the song and what delivery and sound they were going for. They both were great.

When you listen to any Cars song, they all go together. They have a unique style which is distinct kind of like Tears For Fears, The Cure or Depeche Mode. Three other 80’s acts I loved. Somewhat appropriately, none of them are in the Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame. Or as my Dad refers to it:

“The Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Shame.”

They recently announced the Class of 2017. Yes finally made it and Tupac Shakur did as expected. So did Journey, who even though I like their stuff, I don’t think they’re better than any of the aforementioned 80’s bands who had more staying power. Particularly The Cure and Depeche Mode. Electric Light Orchestra also got in as did Joan Baez. Big 90’s act Pearl Jam is the big headliner. They are great and their music still stands like other big 90’s bands who went in before them. Though I can’t stand Eddie Vedder even though his Cubs Take Me Out To The Ballgame was pretty kick ass during the World Series.

The idea that The Cars aren’t in is ridiculous. They had more talent than anyone. How many hit songs did they produce? “Just What I Needed” is great. Their videos were to die for too with a cartoon feel featuring Ocasek’s model wife Pavlina Porizkova. She was featured in so many videos. Wow. She was a stunner.

“You Might Think” won Video of the Year in 1984. In it, Ocasek plays a bumble bee that invades Porizkova throughout. It’s one of those classics that’ll make you smile and laugh. That’s one of the great qualities The Cars had. They didn’t take themselves too seriously. Their music was amazing and the videos were perfect for Music Television which became a phenomenon when it debuted. Too bad MTV hardly shows any videos and only cares about its silly awards show that really sold out. I can’t even remember the last time it was relevant. Yet I still get sucked into watching. I don’t know why. My brother won’t ever give it the time of day.

Our video feature was their last hurrah. It’s a single released in 1987 called “You Are The Girl.” I can recall listening to it on my Walkman. Remember those things? Yeah. They were pretty cool too before I-Pods and I-Phones. Back in the days when cassettes were huge and vinyl was still a thing. If I did come into any money, aside from getting my own place, I would invest in a record player and buy vinyl. Records don’t get enough play.

“You Are The Girl” is another one of those random whacked out Cars videos that leaves you thinking, “What the hell am I watching.” But halfway through it, you can’t help but laugh at the creativity. They’re in outer space and dressed as astronauts who meet girls from another planet. There’s a part that’s basically sexual but it’s so hilarious that you can’t take it seriously. It just creates laughter.

The song is rather catchy. When it comes down to it, this is who they are. The Cars music always had that cool sound. I would hear this song in middle school thinking of my sixth grade crush in science out of all things. Kinda poetic considering the video and time.

But seriously. Listen to almost anything Cars from their first two albums and you’ll agree they belong in the Hall. Particularly Candy-O which doesn’t get as much air play. There’s not a bad song on it. I can’t think of too many Cars tracks I disliked. It all has to do with the way they played and delivered each song. One day, they’ll get in. It won’t be soon enough to suit me.

MTV Unplugged: “Hurt”

In the previous post I just finished, I included a link to the infamous Nine Inch Nails hit song, “Hurt” because it kind of goes with what I’m expressing. If you’ve ever listened to their music, vocalist Trent Reznor always delivers every lyric like it’s his last.

It certainly applies with Hurt. I used to do Video of Days. This is the music portion of the blog. I’ve always been a huge NIN fan. They were up for Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame induction last year. I’m not sure if they’ll ever make it. But they have always produced great albums which hardcore fans identify with. If I could ever see them in concert, I’ll sign. Now that I’ve seen Axl and Slash together again sharing a stage with Duff for the Guns N’ Roses tour, anything’s possible. I really should post some of the video footage I took one of these days at Met Life Stadium.

As for Reznor, I never realized or maybe forgot that he did an MTV Unplugged of “Hurt.” This is a zillion times better than the link of the studio version I included in the last entry. Take a listen. Feel every word he delivers because it’s done with emotion and has so much meaning. Truly masterful.

 

 

The Hurt Inside

We all experience different types of hurt. Physical and emotional, it always feels the same. Physical of course can be very painful especially if it’s from participating in a athletic event or activity and you do something bad. I used to limp around school in so much pain from plantar fasciitis.

It’s not as bad as breaking an ankle or tearing a ACL or MCL sprain. But basically, your feet really do feel broken. I guess that is the price that can be paid for the physical pounding of running. I was never the most fluid runner. Heel to toe should have been eliminated completely. Prescription orthodox should be a requirement for running. That way you have a protective arch and aren’t naked on the concrete.

Mental pain is just as taxing due to the stress. Whether it be in the form of rejection from that hot girl turning you down or chronic anxiety which can do a number on your psyche, there’s only so much we can take. I can remember going through a difficult period about a decade ago. Of course, it involved a girl who I liked. But I basically punished myself. I couldn’t eat or sleep. Naturally, I became dehydrated and a mess.

Sometimes, the mind really overworks. We’re pushed into overdrive when we overthink. That’s a lesson I learned. It’s better to just speak. Say what’s on your mind. No matter what the response is, you will feel better. It doesn’t always have to be the opposite sex. It can be depression from a number of things. I used to score basketball games at a private school Berkley Carroll in Park Slope, Brooklyn. And for no apparent reason, I started to feel really sick inside. Like I was either gonna pass out or die.

That was a pretty scary time. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Only that it couldn’t continue. I had to do something about it. I wasn’t on the right medication. Nor did I know the proper diagnosis for my panic symptoms. It was only when I did volunteer work at a clinic that I discovered the panic disorder I suffered from. Panic attacks are common. It can come for no reason at all. But usually, it’s a social setting with a crowd of people.

There would be Ranger games we would be at with my family and friends when suddenly, it came. I couldn’t even breathe. That’s what it felt like. The pain was sometimes too much. There were moments when I had to leave MSG early and go for walks outside or just back to the car and listen to the rest of the game on the radio. It was then when I was alone that I cooled off and felt better.

The deadening of legs and random joint paints and heart racing can cause so much fear and panic. It was like I was crying for help inside. No matter how much I hid it from the outside. There were enough times at the basketball games where I always acted the part as if everything was cool. I would do random freestyles at the scorer’s table to crack up the people who worked with me. No matter how much pain, it was a way of coping. Somehow, I got through it.

Overcoming the hurt inside can be very hard. There are peaks and valleys. I still have my moments where I feel overwhelmed. It’s why I have not accomplished what I want. I can’t let it hold me back any longer. I must reach my potential. When I was in my 20’s, I didn’t care. I just made it happen and didn’t pay attention to such distractions. That method is how I scored my best gig as a hockey statistical researcher at ESPN at the headquarters in Bristol, Connecticut. At 25, I was living on my own with an apartment set up and paying my monthly bills and my student loan.

Ever since I came home, that’s when the anxiety started. It’s hard to explain how or why. Only that my brother had his own personal ordeal which I finally got to see. Maybe that wasn’t the best environment for me. But I needed to be there for him. I always have been. And maybe that’s why we’re best friends who can’t be separated.

At some point, I need to break through. To escape. 2017 is fast approaching. My goal is to make it happen. Whatever it takes. One thing though. I will always be there for my brother. Even if we no longer share a roof, that will never change. Family always comes first. It’s how I was raised. I am very proud of the positive steps he’s taken. Now, it’s time for me to do the same and stop holding me back.

There’s been too much hurt lately. Whether it’s the loss of friends or me crying out for help, it’s too negative. I like to stay positive. When it gets too down, I turn to music or feel good shows like The Wonder Years which have life values. Yeah. I’ve been rewatching it on Net Flix. So much of that show makes sense to me. I understand why things are the way they are. I understand so much more than I used to.

Never Give Up. That’s a message that stands with me. Or as the great Jim Valvano said:

DON’T EVER GIVE UP

Look at Jimmy V who I again donated money to for cancer research. Or Stuart Scott. Now we lost Craig Sager, who fought so valiantly for two and a half years before succumbing to Leukemia last Thursday. He personified all that was right in covering sports with great journalism, a kick ass personality and amazing attitude despite the terrible disease he fought. Between the colorful outfits, there was the professional Sager on the NBA sideline with his fascinating interviews on TNT. No matter how much Gregg Popovich didn’t like them, you knew he loved and respected Sager.

Everyone did. Just listening and watching different tributes from former colleagues, NBA players, etc., Sager was amazing. You’ll never hear a bad word uttered about this man who had a wonderful wife and children that loved him. He was tremendous.

I’ve learned a great deal. So many people suffer from this chronic disease. It must be stopped. The same way suicide must end. We have to be there for our friends. Knowing a friend who committed suicide is mind numbing. I have friends who have lost others to suicide. It’s all too common. I spoke to a coworker who lost her nephew to suicide. He was only 22. It’s crazy.

We need to raise mental awareness. An area that isn’t covered enough. So many people are suffering. I vow to do good on this and gain a following. Let’s call it one of my life goals starting next year. Love each other. Be kind to each other. Unite as one. That’s my message. Who’s with me?

Dealing with Loss

Life is filled with ups and downs. When you are growing up, it’s a lot more up than down. There is so much to look forward to as a kid. Birthdays. Celebrations. Holidays. All are uplifting times we have experienced with family and friends.

I think what I always loved was being with my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Whether it was at our home or theirs, those get togethers truly lasted a lifetime. As someone who’s older, I have been without grandparents for over a decade. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long since my father’s side of the family passed.

One thing I can say is I have a photographic memory. So, I can always freeze time and see them watching down proudly on me and Justin. They were caring and loving. I really enjoyed the holidays. We are Jewish. So, we celebrate Channukah. I just wish we still did it together as a family. I feel like since my parents divorced, the caring part has stopped. But the most memorable were always at my grandparents. Whether it be a Passover seyder or Rosh Hashanah get together, that was always great.

I guess I just miss my extended family a lot. Such is life. As you grow up, we learn about death and tragedy. The first time it really hit me was back in November 1992. I was a high school junior attending Staten Island Tech. At the time, I was running Varsity cross country track. My favorite sport as it turned even though I was better at tennis. I always found running fun. Especially in the autumn with the unique elements and scenery and unpredictable nature of the courses.

My grandfather on my mother’s side had been let out of a hospital in Florida. The truly sad part is they made a mistake and he had a heart attack and passed away. Because he lived in Florida, I didn’t see him as frequently. But I still recall the times we shared including at my Bar Mitzvah in 1989. He was a tall, thin and proud man who loved his grandkids. I can still remember my Dad telling me as we drove up to Van Cortland Park for the PSAL City Champs track meet:

“Run for your grandfather today.”

That really hit home. On what was an ice cold day with temps in the low 30’s, there I was in my McKee/Tech gold and green running tank with a long sleeve shirt underneath and gloves on. Yes. It was bitter outside. Not ideal conditions. But what you’d expect for early November in New York City.

Our school had a good team led by junior classmates Jason Goldberg, Josh Kantrowitz and very talented sophomore Patrick Keegan. There were a few other teammates who were ahead of me. What I recall is the top seven who finished became your team total. I was on the fringe. I also remember Jeff McGooey and Sean Leckie. I hope I spelled it right. Some of us were just better at long distance. Others can fly and are much more equipped for 100, 200, 400 and even 800 meters in indoor or outdoor seasons. The true athletes can do hurdles, high jump and long jump. Those are quite challenging.

Getting back to the race, I definitely was inspired. Not that I wasn’t motivated already. I loved running for my high school. I wasn’t the best runner. But I always gave it my best effort. I looked up to my friends who were more consistent and better runners. The hard work paid off for them. I did the best I could in my comeback year. Unfortunately, I suffered from plantar fasciatis. A debilitating injury that affects the growth plate in the heel. It basically ended my career. Though I did do some indoor and outdoor before being relegated to inactive as a senior.

As much as I wish I could’ve participated, I don’t have many regrets. I did run a good time at the city champs up in Van Cortlandt Park. That was a nice reward for the practices and all the commitment I put into it. I do feel I should’ve stuck around more and supported the team even though I couldn’t run. But we all have stuff we could’ve done differently.

I think what I’m most proud of is that race because of what it meant. This wasn’t just about me personally. But rather about my late grandfather. I ran well for him. I’m sure he was smiling down on me standing tall with that grin of his.

So, why do I tell this story? Because as you grow older, it isn’t gonna get any better. Sure. There will be exciting moments in our lives that make us happy. Whether it be a school award or graduating college or landing a new job in the field we majored in. Something I was lucky enough to have happen to me back in ’01 and ’02. Whatever it is, those are the moments we should cherish.

The same echoes for good friends who you would give your left arm for. I’ve lost a couple of friends recently. It doesn’t get any easier. It’s already been six years since we lost Lindzay “Futuristic” Richburg. I only knew him for about a year. His family resides in Atlanta, Georgia. But his wonderful Mom Patty had him come live with his uncle in our development. He truly was the kind of special individual you don’t come around too often. A uniquely skilled and savvy kid with so much potential, he was dedicated and hard working.

No matter how bad the situation, Futuristic always saw the best in things. I remember we talked once at our friend P’s about myself and my family. He told me something I’ll never forget. That I was lucky to have two loving parents and a great brother who all cared about me. I don’t recall the particulars of what had me down. Maybe it was due to my anxiety. I didn’t have a job back then. But what he said really made a lot of sense and it stuck with me.

Sometimes, we don’t appreciate what we have. I don’t take anything for granted. Every day is truly a blessing. I know from experience. If we wind up feeling sorry for ourselves, then it’s pointless. There are so many others who are less fortunate and don’t have it as good. I’m talking about kids without fathers growing up in urban poor neighborhoods, etc.

I think when we are not feeling well, it’s never as bad as it seems. I might be having a bad day due to work or some other crap that’s on my mind. However, I am still here. So are our friends. Well, most of them. I used to be real shy when I was younger. But as I’ve grown up, I am not afraid to speak up when such tragedies occur. I did at Lindzay’s wake. I just felt obligated and wanted to share my memories and put smiles back on the faces. Let them know how great a kid he truly was.

I refer to him as a sunshine star. Most don’t understand what it means. To me, my definition is someone who was a special person who made people smile and laugh when we were with them. They are the kind who make our days shine brighter. The kind who are always there for you no matter what. Only a true few are always with you and understand that life isn’t perfect. There are challenges.

We lost another one too soon. Her name was Chris “Shorty” Schuval. She was only 31. She was a nice person with a good heart. It had been a tough year for her. She lost her fiancee this past summer. For her, it didn’t make any sense to stick around and live here. So, she relocated to Georgia and took a new job.

I always saw her posts on Facebook remembering the great times they shared together. I could tell she was going through a difficult time. Only nobody knew that she was suffering. On the outside, we can act normal and seem fine. But nobody knows what’s going on inside. I know about that kind of suffering and mental pain. I go through it but never to that extent. I suffer from panic disorder. Basically, it’s like a black hole which can cause panic attacks. It’s a fear of fainting or dying. It really sucks.

In thinking about Shorty, I just wish she would’ve reached out. I wish I could’ve told her everything would be alright. But how can we relate to what she experienced? A fiancee who died tragically. I guess she must’ve been really depressed. All the photos she shared were a sign. But nobody recognized it. She was reaching out for help. She lived in another state at the end away from family and most friends.

Patty was nearby. She is such a strong person. She could’ve helped her had she known. I know P-Dube would’ve because she’s so caring, so affectionate and wonderful. I still can’t imagine what it’s like without her outstandingly gifted son Lindzay. He was a month away from turning 21. It just kills me.

I don’t think you ever truly get over death. Especially when they die young. I can’t. But somehow, I keep going. Through the good and bad, I have to. Chris was very nice and someone who deserved better. Maybe this was her way of saying goodbye and being with her love forever. It hurts for those who knew her and cared about her well being.

When we say goodbye these next couple of days, we will do it by showing strength and compassion. It’s never fun being at wakes. I’m definitely tired of them. But it’s part of life. Everyone has a different way of grieving. I believe in the grieving process. By being surrounded by family and friends, it’s our way of paying tribute.

It’s hard to deal with. But something we all go through. Love and hugs to Chris and her family. <33333 😦

Islamic State Re-Enters Historic Syrian City Of Palmyra — CBS New York

This is a real thing. However, it doesn’t mean we label all people of a certain group as bad. But there are radical Islamic people who are threats to our democracy and way of life. Something the current President has ignored due to politicizing. Protecting good people is fine. Ignoring or avoiding the bad ones is a issue no one wants to acknowledge.

That’s why there must be immigration reform. It shouldn’t be to penalize good people who want to come here and better themselves and their families. But to prevent dangerous criminals who don’t have our best interests.

BEIRUT (AP) — Syrian activists say the Islamic State group has re-entered the historic city of Palmyra in central Syria, nine months after they were expelled by Syrian and Russian forces in a highly publicized campaign. The activist-run Palmyra Coordination Collective reports Saturday that the militants seized the city’s military warehouse and its northern and…

via Islamic State Re-Enters Historic Syrian City Of Palmyra — CBS New York

Disappointment

Christmas Fireplace

Okay. So the title of this new post is Disappointment. Why would I do such a thing? Because at various times, we have all suffered from it. Whatever it might be, whether it’s how we’re treated on a job or dealing with people, we are bound to experience disappointment in life.

For me, it’s been all too common. I’m not where I need to be quite yet. But as I write these blogs, I’m moving in the right direction. It’s a therapeutic way for me to communicate what’s going on. By being honest, I’m getting off my chest my true feelings on the situation.

It’s six days until my 40th birthday. Other than plans made with my family, I still don’t have a clue if any of my friends want to do something. To me, that isn’t right. While it’s true I may not be your normal person this age due to not being like friends my age who are married with kids, I am a cool person to be around. Ask any of my close friends younger than myself and they’ll tell you. I’m your guy if you want to hang out or do something.

Just the other night, we went to see my friend at her new job. She’s a bartender at a nice place that’s about 20 minutes away. It actually is right around where I grew up out here. It brings back memories. So, we checked it out and even though it was late, we had a blast. For someone who’s younger, she sure has her shit together. She’s been doing bartending for six years. It’s nice to see someone who is mature enough to hold her own at what’s a demanding job with customers who at times can be annoying.

For her, it’s worth it because she knows what she’s doing and enjoys her job. Bartenders make a lot of money. If only I were that kind of person. I’m easy to get along with. I just don’t know if I’m the right fit for handling and mixing drinks. I’d probably be lousy cause I’m kind of clumsy. Ha. I know they train you. It probably explains why I never waited tables or did retail.

At the moment, I’m exploring my options. There are some intriguing possibilities. I do need a change. Something that isn’t as slow paced. More moving around and more being involved. I am giving serious consideration to a couple of things that would change my life for the better. I know it’s the right time.

As far as disappointment goes, I want more for myself. So, there is motivation and extra incentive to do the right thing moving forward. As my birthday draws nearer, I feel calmer about things. I understand what must happen. I have the power to do it.

Until next time. 🙂