A cold day in December

Inspired by all those who have loved ones who make it hard to feel good.

“A Cold Day In December”

by Derek Felix AKA DFlex

The day starts off slowly

Nothing can be seen or heard except darkness

The sun has taken a vacation

Patches of fog lie ahead

And all I want is my bed

Instead, I get up and drive to work

With a numb feeling that won’t go away

Emotions are dead as I get into school

I prepare the best I can for today

With no appetite to speak of

By lunch after three classes, maybe I’m sick

My mood has gotten worse

Along with a upset stomach

It started at the end of Friday

When my anxiety finally kicked in

I’ve been down about something

Which has me stressed out

My birthday is Friday and I don’t care

If only someone changed, maybe I’d feel differently

And have a sunny disposition instead of a ice cold one

It doesn’t seem to matter that the weather warmed up

Or that the sun escaped the dreary clouds

That struck at the crack of dawn

As if symbolic of my inner struggle

I don’t eat because I’ve lost my desire

I’m not starving myself due to sadness

But the loss of taste and the boredom of food

I could disappear and no one would care

I miss my friends and if only they were close by

That would improve my attitude

And bring hope to a dire situation

Work shouldn’t be the most exciting part

No wonder I’ve become lonesome

Almost as if suffering from a broken heart

I miss the carefree days when it was easy

No one critiqued my every move

And they were much different

Even when I do the right thing

It seems they’re disappointed

Only pushing more negativity which makes me crash

I smile and laugh on the outside

Hiding my true feelings

I’m professional and enjoy the kids I teach

They make it easier on a cold day in December

Where it can be fifty and I still shiver

That’s my dilemma as I get ready for two more classes

I’ll put on a show for the students because it’s what they deserve

But the somber feeling will return when I get to my car

I’ll drive home and listen to the radio

Music is a good distraction to drown my sorrows

That will help me on the way home

And maybe a ride to the park and walk

All to escape my reality

In the brightest city in the world

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Published by

Derek Felix

Derek Felix is sports blogger whose previous experience included two stints at ESPN as a stat researcher for NHL and WNBA telecasts. The Staten Island native also worked behind the scenes for MSG as a production assistant on New Jersey Devil games. An avid New York sports fan who enjoys covering events, writing, concerts, movies and the outdoors, Derek has scored Berkeley Carroll basketball games since 2006 and provided an outlet for the Park Slope school's student athletes. Hitting Back gives them the publicity they deserve. From players, coaches to administrators, it's a first class program. In his free time, he also attends Ranger games and is a loyal St. John's alum with a sports management degree.

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