Until the end of the world

u2

The title choice is inspired by the wild and wacky weather we’ve had this week. We have gone from snow not too long ago and icy conditions to Spring conditions with temps approaching 70 degrees. It really is crazy for late February. Not that I mind. I didn’t even have to wear a jacket to work.

So, is the end of the world near? If you’ve heard U2’s underrated hit “Until The End of The World,” from the overlooked Achtung Baby ¬†album in the early 90’s, then maybe you can feel it too. But despite all the warning signs of manic and panic, the world isn’t ending. That’s a good thing.

We get to choose what we want to do each day. I choose to enjoy every day to the fullest. Not the dullest like my job which can put you in a sleep induced coma. Customer service is so thankless. But I’m not here to discuss that. I’m here to remind everyone of everything good. You won’t get anything negative from me in this space.

I choose to stay positive and think about the people in my life. My family is all here. My friends are too. The awesome coworkers I share laughs with over these six years. Of course, my writing which always has some creativity and paints a different picture which is unique and takes me away from everything. That’s art.

That includes music. Something I will always share with people I meet. It also includes my random rhymes. I got my new car finally washed Thursday. It only took 30 minutes after the first place was too backed up. Everyone wants to do it when the sun is shining and the weather is nice. Almost too nice for words. But I’ll take it. We all will.

Do I have any pearls of wisdom? You bet your ass I do. ūüėČ

Current mood: “Good Vibrations” Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch

 

Stay true to yourself 

And in good health 

See the good inside 

Smile on the outside 

Let the sun shine 

Like a fancy rhyme 

Enjoy the poetic sky 

As the birds echo a cry 

Fly away into a different dimension

Beyond the level of comprehension

Raise the roof 

Because each and every day you are the truth

Hit it out of the park 

Like the Babe lighting up a spark

I got more bars than electric guitars

Like Jimi Hendrix and all my shining stars

They sit high above the roof top 

Cause legends never die the cream of the crop

Jimi, 2Pac, Biggie, Marley and Lennon 

Were champions of life always winning 

Their message was one of hope 

Rather than the negative spread by mainstream media dopes

Whose only goal in life is to bring you down 

When we should be our own person minus the frown

Spreading a message of peace and love 

End the hate conquer and divide rise above 

Live for each day and do it our way 

Yesterday is gone it’s all about today¬†

Love and respect each other 

Stand together for one and another 

We can accomplish anything our heart desires

My heart bleeds red with plenty of fire 

Showing emotion because I care 

Never live my life in fear 

I’ll rise above the rest¬†

God willing we’ll pass this test¬†

From coast to coast 

East to west we must be the best 

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Sugar and Sweetness

chocolate

“Sugar and Sweetness”

By Derek Felix 

 

I see you everyday 

Looking so fly 

In your own fancy way

You make me want to cry 

 

I would scream your name for days

That pleasant smile 

Makes me forget about yesterday 

If only we could hang for a while 

 

I’d sweep you off your feet¬†

Into the picturesque blue sky

And enjoy your tasty treat 

We would spring to an eternal high

 

Into another dimension 

Your world of sugar and sweetness

As soon as you enter you got my attention 

Looking so sexy with that flavor and uniqueness 

 

It doesn’t matter what you wear¬†

I can’t keep my eyes off yours¬†

No wonder I lose my focus when you’re near

You got that glamour and allure 

 

It doesn’t matter what color you do your hair

You’re a painting like a work of art

Every one of us can’t stop but stare¬†

It’s like I got hit by a love dart¬†

 

I keep telling myself you can’t be real

Only to be wondered in amazement 

Deep down you’re the real deal¬†

A kindred spirit who stands adjacent 

 

Leaving me breathless 

As I fall for your sugar and sweetness

You’re like heaven God bless¬†

One of a kind in love and uniqueness 

 

You have the lips of an angel 

Always lighting up the place 

Igniting a spark to our table 

You’re not just another pretty face¬†

 

There’s more to you than that¬†

It’s the way you talk and move

You’re the perfect candy Kit Kat

The way you joke and groove so smooth

 

You are that fire from above 

Carefree and cool to the extreme

Spreading your wings like a golden dove

I see you well dressed like a queen 

 

Driving me into your maze 

An ocean of sugar and sweetness 

If you were weed you’d be purple haze

With Jimi Hendrix jamming about your uniqueness 

 

That pizzazz with a lot of sass 

As you float like a gentle breeze 

Smart, sexy and so much class 

Making me drop to my knees 

 

If I dreamt you 

You couldn’t be any better¬†

You are a star that rings true 

Taking me back to school days of love letters

 

You are a diamond who lasts forever 

I knew that the first time we met 

I want more than ever for us to be together

Don’t tease me and play hard to get¬†

 

I’ll fly on a jet for miles¬†

Landing in your world of sugar and sweetness 

Mesmerized by your beautiful styles

The one and only starlet of uniqueness

The Hurt Inside

We all experience different types of hurt. Physical and emotional, it always feels the same. Physical of course can be very painful especially if it’s from participating in a athletic event or activity and you do something bad. I used to limp around school in so much pain from plantar fasciitis.

It’s not as bad as breaking an ankle or tearing a ACL or MCL sprain. But basically, your feet really do feel broken. I guess that is the price that can be paid for the physical pounding of running. I was never the most fluid runner. Heel to toe should have been eliminated completely. Prescription orthodox should be a requirement for running. That way you have a protective arch and aren’t naked on the concrete.

Mental pain is just as taxing due to the stress. Whether it be in the form of rejection from that hot girl turning you down or chronic anxiety which can do a number on your psyche, there’s only so much we can take. I can remember going through a difficult period about a decade ago. Of course, it involved a girl who I liked. But I basically punished myself. I couldn’t eat or sleep. Naturally, I became dehydrated and a mess.

Sometimes, the mind really overworks. We’re pushed into overdrive when we overthink. That’s a lesson I learned. It’s better to just speak. Say what’s on your mind. No matter what the response is, you will feel better. It doesn’t always have to be the opposite sex. It can be depression from a number of things. I used to score basketball games at a private school Berkley Carroll in Park Slope, Brooklyn. And for no apparent reason, I started to feel really sick inside. Like I was either gonna pass out or die.

That was a pretty scary time. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Only that it couldn’t continue. I had to do something about it. I wasn’t on the right medication. Nor did I know the proper diagnosis for my panic symptoms. It was only when I did volunteer work at a clinic that I discovered the panic disorder I suffered from. Panic attacks are common. It can come for no reason at all. But usually, it’s a social setting with a crowd of people.

There would be Ranger games we would be at with my family and friends when suddenly, it came. I couldn’t even breathe. That’s what it felt like. The pain was sometimes too much. There were moments when I had to leave MSG early and go for walks outside or just back to the car and listen to the rest of the game on the radio. It was then when I was alone that I cooled off and felt better.

The deadening of legs and random joint paints and heart racing can cause so much fear and panic. It was like I was crying for help inside. No matter how much I hid it from the outside. There were enough times at the basketball games where I always acted the part as if everything was cool. I would do random freestyles at the scorer’s table to crack up the people who worked with me. No matter how much pain, it was a way of coping. Somehow, I got through it.

Overcoming the hurt inside can be very hard. There are peaks and valleys. I still have my moments where I feel overwhelmed. It’s why I have not accomplished what I want. I can’t let it hold me back any longer. I must reach my potential. When I was in my 20’s, I didn’t care. I just made it happen and didn’t pay attention to such distractions. That method is how I scored my best gig as a hockey statistical researcher at ESPN at the headquarters in Bristol, Connecticut. At 25, I was living on my own with an apartment set up and paying my monthly bills and my student loan.

Ever since I came home, that’s when the anxiety started. It’s hard to explain how or why. Only that my brother had his own personal ordeal which I finally got to see. Maybe that wasn’t the best environment for me. But I needed to be there for him. I always have been. And maybe that’s why we’re best friends who can’t be separated.

At some point, I need to break through. To escape. 2017 is fast approaching. My goal is to make it happen. Whatever it takes. One thing though. I will always be there for my brother. Even if we no longer share a roof, that will never change. Family always comes first. It’s how I was raised. I am very proud of the positive steps he’s taken. Now, it’s time for me to do the same and stop holding me back.

There’s been too much hurt lately. Whether it’s the loss of friends or me crying out for help, it’s too negative. I like to stay positive. When it gets too down, I turn to music or feel good shows like The Wonder Years which have life values. Yeah. I’ve been rewatching it on Net Flix. So much of that show makes sense to me. I understand why things are the way they are. I understand so much more than I used to.

Never Give Up. That’s a message that stands with me. Or as the great Jim Valvano said:

DON’T EVER GIVE UP

Look at Jimmy V who I again donated money to for cancer research. Or Stuart Scott. Now we lost Craig Sager, who fought so valiantly for two and a half years before succumbing to Leukemia last Thursday. He personified all that was right in covering sports with great journalism, a kick ass personality and amazing attitude despite the terrible disease he fought. Between the colorful outfits, there was the professional Sager on the NBA sideline with his fascinating interviews on TNT. No matter how much Gregg Popovich didn’t like them, you knew he loved and respected Sager.

Everyone did. Just listening and watching different tributes from former colleagues, NBA players, etc., Sager was amazing. You’ll never hear a bad word uttered about this man who had a wonderful wife and children that loved him. He was tremendous.

I’ve learned a great deal. So many people suffer from this chronic disease. It must be stopped. The same way suicide must end. We have to be there for our friends. Knowing a friend who committed suicide is mind numbing. I have friends who have lost others to suicide. It’s all too common. I spoke to a coworker who lost her nephew to suicide. He was only 22. It’s crazy.

We need to raise mental awareness. An area that isn’t covered enough. So many people are suffering. I vow to do good on this and gain a following. Let’s call it one of my life goals starting next year. Love each other. Be kind to each other. Unite as one. That’s my message. Who’s with me?